2012 agency press releases translated

In this roundup from the Encore and Mumbrella Annual, we decode press release quotes from 2012.

1. What they said: ‘The incumbent agency declined to repitch’

What they meant: The incumbent felt like a battered wife finally having the courage to leave its spouse. The client may have paid well, but the last minute, idiotic decisions and charmless demeanor of the entire marketing team means the new agency is in a world of hurt.

2. What they said: ‘John Smith has left and plans to spend time with his family’

What they meant: John Smith was fired so swiftly that he had no idea it was coming. His family is dreading the prospect of him moping around the house.

3. What they said: It was an extremely close pitch.

What they meant: The winning agency had to drop their pants on price.

4. What they said: John Smith has left the company and will take a six-month break before returning to the industry.

What they meant: John Smith is going to take every one of his clients with him the very minute his non compete has expired.

5. What they said: Agency X has launched a localized experiential campaign for Brand Y.

What they meant: Agency X has been to the fancy dress shop and is handing out leaflets in Martin Place.

6. What they said: Media owner Z has collaborated with Brand X and Agency Y in a media-first integrated campaign.

What they meant:  Media owner Z is so desperate they’ve pimped out the editorial.

7. What they said: Agency X has launched a national experiential campaign with a digital component for Brand Y.

What they meant: Agency X has organized flashmobs in Martin Place AND Federation Square. Later they’ll upload the awkward footage to YouTube for your enjoyment.

2012 agency press releases translated Screen Shot 2012 12 05 at 2.55.29 PM 234x182

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